Experiences and gatherings fail because the purpose is not clear

When it is clear, the real opportunity lies in peeling back its layers to uncover a more meaningful expression of that purpose, one that delivers more powerfully on both intent and consequence.

That distinction came into focus for me this December while designing the Winter Fair at my son’s school.

I joined the committee this year as Chair of Events to improve how our events are designed. The committee articulated the purpose as creating an opportunity for the school community to connect. That alone could have been achieved by running its traditional Winter Fair and simply providing the space for people to come together.

But after reading Priya Parker's The Art of Gathering last year, which I highly recommend, one idea stayed with me:

Reverse engineer an outcome: Think of what you want to be different because you gathered, and work backward from that outcome.

So I peeled back that top-level purpose and asked a more specific question:

What kind of connection are we trying to enable, and what would make it meaningful and lasting for children, parents, and the wider school community?

In this case, the outcome was not just connection, but pride, shared values, and a sense of belonging beyond the event itself.

That led to the Elf Workshop.

Rather than bringing back Santa’s grotto, I designed an experience centred on giving back to the wider London community. Children brought a gently loved toy from home, wrapped it themselves, handed it to Santa, and received a small wooden medal recognising the good deed. The toys were then donated to the annual East London Business Alliance Toy Drive.

What made it powerful was how the purpose was carried through each moment.

→ Before the event, parents and children talked together about generosity and made a conscious decision about what to give.
→ During the fair, children and parents became elves and were recognised for it.
→ Afterwards, families learned about the real-world impact through the school newsletter.

= For younger children, it preserved the magic of Christmas while introducing care for others.
= For older children, it became a civic act they could understand and feel proud of.
= For parents, it created a quiet but powerful sense of pride in what their children were part of and in the values the school community stands for.

☆ The result was not simply a well-attended event, but a shift in sentiment. People did not just enjoy the fair. They felt good about themselves, their children, and their school community.

In my next post, I will return to a concept I have written about before, exploring how experiences can be designed around creation, return, and rediscovery.

#ExperienceDesign #PurposeLedDesign #ImmersiveDesign #TheArtOfGathering